Cornell University : Cornell Cooperative Extension

Balancing Work and Family

Did you spend a lot of time at work yesterday thinking about some family situation? And then spend your evening with the family fretting about work problems?

"Leave work problems at the office and don't bring family stresses to work" sounds like a sensible solution. But, in today's quick-paced, often high-stress homes and workplaces, such a goal may not be realistic, or even desirable.

The worlds of work and home are not separate; in fact, research shows they have a profound impact on each other. Success or a problem at work can affect home life and vice versa.

The trick is not to ignore work stresses at home or home stresses at work. Rather, it is important to learn to cope with the stresses that occur in both situations.

Here are some ideas that may help:

• Lower your standards. Maybe a spotless house is not as important as you once thought.
  
• Get rid of details. They distract you from your goals both at home and at work.
  
• Delegate! Divide chores among family members. Give children jobs which are appropriate for their age and experience.
  
• Do some tasks together. Parent and child can accomplish a job, then use the free time gained for something fun.
  
• Makes lists and prioritize. Don't do items low on the list before the more important ones at the top of the list are completed.
  
• Learn to say "No." No explanation is necessary.
  
• Join a group that interests you. Help yourself to grow both personally and professionally.
  
• Hire someone to help, or trade skills, barter your talents and interests.
  
• Share your schedule with the family. Let each know what the other is doing so activities can be scheduled when others are not around.
  
• Schedule weekly family meetings. Discuss jobs, problems, and plans as a group. Three basic rules to keep in mind are:
  1) There are times when not everything gets done.
  2) Prioritize and
  3) Let go.

Agree on which jobs must be done and be willing to compromise. Agree on standards. You may have to lower yours and others may have to raise theirs. Agree on timing. Example: Dishes must be done by bedtime and agree on who will do what job.

Agree to hold family meetings once a week or every two weeks and mark the meeting dates. Put the meeting schedule in a place where everyone can see it. Adjust the chore schedule as necessary at the next meeting. Be patient with working out a chore schedule that runs effectively. You may decide to lengthen the time between meetings if every thing is running smoothly. Finally, remember to plan time outside of the chore schedule for leisure activities, both together as a family and individually. Everyone needs some time and space for him or herself to recharge physical and emotional batteries. Keeping a healthy balance between work and home is the key to successfully managing the stresses and strains of modern family life.

Cornell Cooperative Extension Yates Association
Last updated: 8/28/01

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