As you well know, families today are waking up to headlines of war and violence. At best, children are confused about these events; often they are terribly saddened and fearful.
Cornell Cooperative Extension has prepared a number of resources that you may find useful in engaging and responding to children's questions about war. Our kids are listening and watching; let us be there for them when they need us the most.
Resilient Communities- Family Website at Cornell University
Important
Note: If you visit this site, you will need to use your "back"
button to navigate back to the Orange County-based website.
www.cyfernet.org Resources for Parents, Teachers, and Family Professionals in Times of War.
Talking to Children About War by Tim Jahn, Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County (this is in PDF form, you will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open this file)
America at War: Children and Parents Under Seige by James Garbarino, Ph. D., Family Life Development Center, Cornell University (this is in PDF form, you will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open this file)
Talking with Kids About War and Violence - Answering Tough Questions from www.pbs.orgWhen War is in the News by Judith Myers-Walls, Purdue Extension
Strategies for Parents and Teachers from North Carolina Cooperative Extension
Visit the Resilient
Communities website (part of the Cornell Cooperative Extension state-level
website, based out of Cornell Universiety) for web-based educational resources
designed to help citizens, educators and local leaders respond to the
unfolding tragedies and move ahead with the work of rebuilding lives and
communities. Be sure to explore the resources of the website:
Resilient Communities Website
The site will change often as new materials are added.
Important Note: If you visit this site, you will need to use your "back" button to navigate back to the Orange County-based website.
As difficult as it is for adults to make sense of the world during times of disaster, children have an even harder time understanding and coping with violence, grief and loss. We have learned important lessons from our previous expereinces with children coping with traumatic disasters. We can draw from these experiences to offer a series of principles for adults to use in their efforts to respond to children as the images of war flood their consciousness through the media.
In response to the needs of children, and to assist adults who work with children, the following information has been gathered. Please copy and share this information with all who can benefit. For more information on this issue, please contact Denyse A. Variano, Human Ecology Program, at 845-344-1234.
http://www.PrepareRespondRecover.com/childrensneeds/
Recognizing
Stress in Children; Strategies for Parents and Teachers to Assist Children
Who Are Managing Stress; Benefits of Play and Age Specific Interventions;
and Outreach for Children/ Resources and Materials to Help Cope.)
http://pbskids.org/rogers/parents/
Helping Children
with their concerns about War and Violence
Helping Children Cope with Grief and Loss by Maria Trozzi, Brazelton Seminar, Cornell University (this is in PDF form, you will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open this file)
Somewhere deep inside each one of us human beings is a longing to know that all will be well. Our children need to hear from us adults that we will do everything we can to keep them safe and to help them grow in this world.
When Fred Rogers was a boy and would see scary things on the news, his mother would say to him, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."
In a time of worldwide stress, it's easy to give in to feeling helpless. We can take care of our children by sticking to our normal routines. Knowing what to expect comforts children and can go a long way toward providing a sense of security.
Respect our children enough to listen to what they're telling us. Be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers. If they ask questions, your best answer might be to ask them, "What do you think happened?" If the answer is "I don't know," then the simplest reply might be, "I'm sad about the news and I'm worried. But I love you, and I am here for you."
Limit children's television viewing of the news events. Even very young children drink in television images, and they are often too graphic and disturbing for children to cope with. Adults also must try to resist the temptation to watch war news around the clock because it can lead to a feeling of hopelessness and despair, which children may sense. They need you more than newscasters of the world.
Play is one of the important ways children work through their concerns. War play can contribute to scary feelings. Adults should be nearby to redirect the play into caring and nurturing themes, such as building a hospital for the wounded.
One of the most important messages we can give our children is, "It's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to hurt." Besides allowing the children the right to their anger, we can also help them find constructive things to do with their angry feelings that don't hurt themselves or damage things. (Write a letter, draw a picture, express their anger in words to an adult or stuffed toy, yell or cry in the shower.) By showing children how to deal with their anger in healthy ways, we are giving them useful tools that will serve them throughout life and help them to be the world's future peacemakers.
Our Relatives as Parents Program (RAPP) has many
services designed specifically for grandparents and relatives raising
children. If you now find yourself in this situation the RAPP program
can help you through this difficult time - you are not alone!
Services to help you and the children for whom you are providing care may include: counseling, support groups, respite care, youth activities, fun family events and more. Please call the RAPP Coordinator, Brenda Reynolds at 845-344-1234 for further information.